House Mouse Epilogue

So I know as my last post before Christmas I should write something about the season, and family- something deep, and inspirational, with meaning that you can hold close and carry without you throughout the day and into the weekend…but alas, as a testament that is all too reflective of the kind of chaos we otherwise dwell in, here you have the epilogue of the adventures of our house mouse.

We had both separately decided yesterday that if mouse were to defy all odds and survive we would intervene in his fate and set him free. (Of course I largely decided this to alleviate my own guilt, thinking full well that of course the mouse would be dead. He/she had absolutely no where to go and was cohabitating with a sprung trap full of peanut butter and cheese). I’m sure at this juncture you can all tell where the story was going- Clint got home (I didn't check as that is rather difficult when you refuse to look at a mouse), dashed upstairs, and found the mouse calmly sitting right next to the trap as if to mock our futile attempts at taking its life.

Great. Now what.

I had never actually thought past this moment because I didn’t think there would be a need. Seriously, what are the odds- and not only that, but what does this mean for any sort of mouse capture in the future?! If we can’t get them in the traps when there’s absolutely no where else to go, what chance to we have to lure them when they have a whole house to explore? This is obviously total and complete confirmation of my first hypothesis- we have the smartest mice ever. There is a research facility VERY nearby which has a cloud of mystery and suspicion hanging over it at all times- all I know is that they do extensive testing on animals (particularly primates) and they are very secretive. I think the only rational explanation here is that our mice are experimental subjects that have somehow been genetically altered to be hyper-intelligent. I asumme at some point they staged a coup, and the smartest one led a brigade out the door, and into our area.

But this aside, we needed a plan, but each one we concocted seemed far too risky- how could we successfully get a mouse out from under a garbage can, into a container, without it touching us and without releasing it, especially since this whole business makes us both a bit skittish. Clint was adamant so we pressed on, but our attempts to transfer him to a disposable container just led the mouse to climb back up to the top of the mesh garbage can. After shaking the garbage can violently and hitting the top of it he wouldn’t budge so we went with plan b- taping a piece of cardboard to the top of the garbage can with Clint putting his weight around the edges so it couldn’t escape. All this while he wore my rubber paint stripping gloves, which are at least two sizes too small on him. I opened all the doors and cleared the path for Clint to dash down the stairs and successfully transfer the contraption to the car. My biggest concern at this point was making absolutely sure that our house mouse was secure because having it loose in the car while I was driving would be BAD- I shudder now even thinking about it. With Clint and house mouse secure in the back seat I hopped in the drivers seat and went tearing out of there, resetting the mileage counter to make sure we cleared the 1 mile distance (even though this is up for debate- some say two). In the meantime, house mouse was not at all happy about this and was probably stressed out of its mind because it peed and pooped itself (such a lovely Christmas story, isn’t this). I was utterly convinced that there was probably some disease you could get from inhaling the odor of mouse poop or even just sharing air with one so we had to drive with the windows down, in the pouring rain. We settled on the back of the Kroger parking lot for our release because it was well lit, and we could be sure the mouse got away. (I’ve heard that when mice get scared first they defecate then they have a heart attack so we were afraid all this would lead to a dead mouse in our garbage can, despite our efforts). But alas, we got to the parking lot and set him free. Who know what has happened to him since- there is a garden store with a plethora of bird seed he was headed toward so I like to think he found that and settled in for the night, but we did our good deed and at least let him live a bit longer. So although it’s not necessarily a Christmas story for us- maybe it is for the mouse…or maybe I’ve seen too many Disney movies which anthropomorphize filthy rodents. Either way- Merry Christmas to him anyhow, and of course to all of you.

Another one bites the dust…

Well…maybe. Clint and I woke up this morning in what is becoming an all too familiar pattern- one of us exclaims “what is that?” or “chloe is making that noise again” and we follow with our collective internal groan when we realize precisely what it means- a visit from one of our resident furry rodents. I was actually half expecting it these last couple of days. As we’ve seen no activity in our traps while it’s been warm I surmised that they must head outside for sprightly jaunts when the weather is nice, and duck their heads indoors when the mercury drops below freezing to keep their tiny, diseased little hands warm on our dime.

For me the next part happened largely the same, me standing on the bed, refusing to look at it, getting Clint to do the dirty work, etc. But he has spent much time since the last visitation with the one that got away (or maybe not) trying to figure out where he went wrong and how to successfully apprehend it next time. He determined that the key factor would be trapping the mouse. So trap it we did. We emptied the office garbage can and swift as…well…a mouse, Clint threw it over the top and we added the hamper to the top of that for extra insurance. We debated the various options of what to do next- Clint’s heart moved ever so slightly with this one as in his words, it hopped like a Kangaroo. This is quite the profound shift as the last couple of times upon waking up to them he shakes his head and declares his hatred of mice with a certain modium of disgust, but with this one the first words out of his mouth were “it’s kind of cute”. We debated the pros and cons of driving it a mile away and releasing it (apparently if it’s less than that they get back to your house and come right back in) including who would be the one to hold the mouse container in the car, and also considered humane ways to kill it. We narrowed it down to the only conceivable option since we both needed to start getting ready for work and we quickly lifted the lid of the garbage can and slid a bated trap under it. When we left this morning it was still clinging to the top of the garbage can for dear life. I’m starting to feel a tiny bit bad about the whole thing as I’m sure that mouse is/was scared out of its wits, but alas Chloe batting mice around on the floor while we try to sleep just won’t do so we’re saying goodbye to another one. We’ve agreed that if the mouse somehow did manage to escape the trap (even though it literally has an 8” square of space to run around in) we will drive it to the river and release it to more than likely be dinner for a hawk or owl. I can sleep with that one on my conscious though- because you know, the whole circle of life thing. Is it just too much to ask that they stay in the crawl space?!

Garage Mayhem

As promised, I’ll take this post to give you a glimpse into how we have managed to fill up much of the space in the two car garage, despite only having one car. Most of the offending materials have come from deals we just couldn’t pass up, even though we’re not sure when we’ll be able to use them. In the end I think it will be fantastic because all at once we’ll have our house done without putting a gigantic strain on our finances. So this is what we have, in addition to all of the normal garage items (lawn mower, wheel barrow, tools, etc.)

-Our sample sale pile, as described yesterday

-Billy’s bike- which is really nice and I am sometimes tempted to ride, but i know by default if I do that it will get stolen.

-Our bookshelf and all of our books which we refuse to move in only to move back out once the floors are ready to be refinished

-A screen door purchased for the front which will go on once we get a new front door. (Part of a 10% off coupon we had for our entire purchase at Lowes.)

-A bathroom sink and vanity, pictured here. Purchased before we even closed on the house, thinking we would immediately redo the bathroom. Ha.

-A recessed medicine cabinet that was clearanced with an additional percentage off because of a scratch or two which we can buff out, from the Pottery Barn Outlet

-A table we recently got off of Craig’s List for ridiculously cheap. It’s not exactly like this, but close- it's the stainless steel top with stained wood but no drawers. Clint had previously been eyeing this for his studio so we’re not yet sure if this will go there or in the dining room

And much more to come I’m sure before it’s all said and done. I have a soft spot in my heart for getting unbelievable deals- a friend of my calls it “shopping for sport,” and more than once I have passed up a bargain, only to later regret it. So I’ve learned the lesson and apply the litmus test every time we come across a deal by asking myself “will I regret this if we don’t get it?” (Clearly the answer has been yes on more than one occasion, which would explain why we have a second house in our garage). Before I learned this trick, however it meant many a trip back to a store we had just been at the night before, typically to be met with disappointment.

Hopefully we’ll come across some of those deals his weekend- we’re off to Cincinnati for what we are calling our vacation, which means a stop at the Pottery Barn outlet, and the Gap/Banana Republic warehouse store (it’s a lot like a thrift store in terms of the sorting required and deals to be had). We’ll also potentially be ice skating on a outdoor rink that is said to be the size of Rockefeller Center, we’ll see Santa repel down a high-rise, and hear some lovely Over the Rhine Christmas music at both an old theater (Saturday) and an old church (Sunday). In theory, between all this and finishing up our Christmas shopping, we'll be able to take it easy and breathe in some of the magic of the season. Hope you all get the opportunity as well- it's amazing how quickly it passes us by.

Clint’s Santa garbage bag adventure

Apparently Clint started his new job at just the right time because yesterday he experienced some sort of a warehouse sale where for $15 you are given a garbage bag and allowed to fill it with whatever you deem worthwhile amongst the items laid out on a sea of fold out tables. I was curious throughout the day about what he got, but the only opportunity we had to talk he just said he couldn’t remember. When he got home last night he had me come out to the car to help him unload- it was like being a kid at Christmas. In what seemed like an unending stream he pulled the items one by one out of the back of the jeep, qualifying most them with “I have no idea why I got this” and even some with “I don’t even know what this is.” The more he pulled out the harder we laughed. I can’t explain why it was funny- mostly the idea of Clint running around with a garbage bag just putting things in to get his $15 dollars worth. And I will say- he successfully accomplished his goal.

Here are the items I can recall: a 10 pack of bubble mailers, a paint brush, two scrapers, an automatic paint roller, a glass vase, a glass container of some sort, a small metal tin with a lid, two very random books, a Ralph Lauren pillow, a really really soft knee length robe that is so bright pink I’m pretty sure you could see it from space (and if you hold it up to your ear I think it hums a little), a wonderfully soft, huge baby blue blanket which has sample written in the corner in what looks like permanent marker, two different sets of seat covers for the jeep, something brown with a zipper that we have no idea what it is (he got because it’s soft (looks like maybe an oddly shaped duvet?)), a lava lamp, baseball and basketball shaped magnets, a tool belt, several drawer pulls that do not match, some curtain tiebacks, a perfume set, a few different types of toys, a bouncy ball, a picture frame and a few more random things that I just can’t remember. I think I’m save the condition of our garage for another day but sufficed to say- we are now one step closer to being able to run up a thrift store out of our garage.

Because we all know what cleanliness is next to

On Sunday, Clint and I commenced with the mass organization of our entire house beginning with our master closet. After having lived in a one bedroom apartment, our finely tuned skills of space maximization are precisely developed, however they have gone largely unused since moving into the house. I think the delay is one part needing to live in the space to get a feel for how we will use it, one part not knowing where to start, one part delayed by working on the house itself, and one part having far more space which creates less immediate need. (Our garage alone is about the same square footage as our entire apartment, storage space included.)

We realized early on that our old system of having a place for everything kept us from having everything everywhere. We dread any sort of cleaning or putting of things away because we frankly just don’t know where it all goes yet. The ringmaster of this circus of mass confusion is quite certainly our clothes. Although it took us awhile, we had a rather functional system in the old place; a montage of dressers, the use of a closet, and the creative use of space by a garment rack and closet shelving in a space enclosed by curtains. So while technically we currently have more space, we frankly have no idea how to maximize it. Thus we are left with the same number of dressers, the taking over of the office closet by Clint, and the shoving of my clothes in our bedroom closet, (which on a side note is very inefficient use of space, and oddly laid out). Oh wait, I almost forgot- we also have my sweater collection which has migrated from the bedroom floor, to a clothes basket, to the tops of dressers, and finally they are resting squarely in front of Clint’s sweaters and jeans, which means any effort to get the latter out leaves a nice pile of sweaters on the closet floor.

We have long drooled at Elfa’s customized closet solutions, however we knew that we would never invest the money in the apartment. So on Sunday, while out tooling around Easton with Clint’s Uncle Theo, we stopped in the Container Store to gaze lovingly at the shelves, and to possibly begin thinking about what we could actually do with our space. While standing there dumbfounded by a gorgeous display of organization which was unfortunately achieved in a space about five times the size of our closet, we were approached and told that they have experts that would enter our sketch into the computer and design a customized solution just for us- for free! They didn’t entirely know what they were getting themselves into because by the time they were done there were three of them standing around making comments like “what a strange closet” and “I’ve never had to do it like this before”, but nevertheless they clicked a few buttons and the computer spat out a rendering which includes clothes rods, shelves, drawers, and even a place to hang my wedding dress where it doesn’t pool on the closet floor. Genius! And the best part- the 30% off sale which starts Christmas Eve and goes into early spring. Granted we may not be able to afford it by then, but at least there is a plan; a sketch that I can file away, and hold up for Clint when steam starts coming out his ears after picking my sweaters for the umpteenth time this week.

One down

Friday night just after settling into bed I got up to perform our ritual “did we close the garage door” check. On my way out I happened to peek behind the ironing board where we had sprung our cheese loaded mouse trap, and lo and behold, we got one. I didn’t actually see it because I do my best to check the traps using my peripheral vision so I won’t actually have an image to haunt me in my sleep. But I saw a shadow, and promptly summonsed Clint down for confirmation. After donning a rubber glove and wrapping his hand in a plastic bag, he unceremoniously tossed the whole thing in the dumpster. So as of now, our house is less one mouse. I’d like to believe we had one mouse and we caught that one mouse, but either way we are now prepared with additional traps placed strategically around the house. There has been no other activity as of yet, but perhaps that’s because we’re using traps that claim using bait decreases their effectiveness. (huh?) This might work on the average house mouse, but clearly the manufacture is not taking into consideration the advanced intelligence our mice seem to possess. We’ll give it a few days before I try to figure out some way to stick some cheese in there (I think they’re on to the peanut butter).

We hate those mices to pieces

All at once we got the cold, I like to blame Clint as a couple of days before it hit he said “all right, I’m ready for it to be cold,” but I’m sure it has much more to do with the fact that its December. We had been struggling to decide whether we would get a Christmas tree or not. At first I thought we’d just skip it this year since our living room is our dining room, but we realized it just wouldn’t feel like Christmas that way. So we set out on Tuesday, picked one up from Lowes, and even got a little Christmas shopping done. Energized by our progress we got home and set the whole thing up. It was quite fun because last year we hit the Target 90% off post-Christmas sale and decided that though we liked our simple, modern Christmas tree with the white lights and minimal flourishes, it just didn’t feel like Christmas. So with an insanity blazing in our eyes that could only be brought on by 90% off, we stocked up on colored lights and lots of red garland. And our tree is now full of flourishes to say the least, but it also feels like Christmas. We also wound white lights around evergreen garland and red garland around the banister to bring some of the warm glow upstairs.

After having accomplished all this in one night it was naturally pretty late. So we headed upstairs around 1:30 am and drifted off. Around that that point where my mind shuts off or at least floats beyond my grasp, and my head starts getting heavier, I hear Chloe. Now let me preface this with a few explanations of our rather peculiar cat (and this is the point where I have to embarrassingly admit that yes, I have psychoanalyzed my cat)…it is my theory that she was taken away from her mother too early, and thus was not left with any discernable instincts. Although she lived with Tiger for a couple of years apparently none of his skills transferred to her in any way- except the one where she now jumps on counters. Case in point- in our old apartment Tiger would rip the heads off mice and leave them on the rug for us to find. (maybe you can see where this is going…) The only things Chloe will play with are a string, Clint’s arm in a sweatshirt, and a sock stuffed with catnip. When she plays with this sock she puts it in her mouth, runs up the stairs, and makes a noise that can only be described as a muffled mix between meowing and the sound humans make when they can successfully master the rolling R sound of the Spanish language.

So- around 1:50 I wake up to Chloe making this noise. Normally this would not be concerning in anyway, but we have a lazy cat, which is to say that as soon as it gets dark she can only be seen moving between the couch, the bed, and her food bowl. So I wake Clint up and tell him “Chloe’s making that noise.” There is one other time this has happened in our house it resulting in me seeing in the dark what I have sworn is a mouse. After setting traps and not seeing a thing, Clint decided that indeed we have no mice, while I felt it could only be an indication that we have the smartest mice ever. So Tuesday, after we hear this ‘something in her mouth’ sound followed by Chloe scrambling like mad across the room, I have the feeling that Clint’s starting to believe me now. In what is a completely nonsensical response, we both leap to our feet to stand on the bed, and Clint decides to straddle the bed and the dresser to turn on the lamp.

And what do we see- but Chloe standing there with the mouse in her mouth. For me I say “see” theoretically because of course that was the three nights a year that I am not sleeping in my contacts so I didn’t actually see a thing. I commence making some sort of ridiculous noise, horrified at the thought that the cat that curls up to me at night is now poisoned with mouse disease, which makes her run into the other room and drop it. At this point we feel safe enough to step on the floor. I grab my glasses and we peek our heads around the corner with our tiny flash light, and we are confronted with a horrifying image- the mouse slowing vertically climbing up the wooden leg of our desk. Vertically. Climbing. Slowly. Now I realized they could get up on things from stories of them being on counters, but I guess in the back of my head I just imagined there was some sort of stair stepping process to the whole thing- not vertically climbing. The implications ran like wildfire through my mind- they could climb up the stairs, they could climb into our cabinets- they could climb into our bed! (that is if Chloe doesn’t loving toss it there for us). Which believe me if that happens, you will hear my scream from where you are; wherever you are.

We carried on with our brilliant plan to trap the mouse in the room with a cheese loaded trap, with towels stuffed under the door to trap it, and headed off to bed, sure that our efforts would successfully commence with one dead mouse. Now this may be the end of the story if you have forgotten my aforementioned conclusion that we have the smartest mice ever. Somehow our mouse evaded capture, and is living in what I can only assume is one of our shoes (they are of course all kept on the floor of the closet in what I’m now lovingly referring to as the ‘mouse room'). Clint is still a bit traumatized by the whole thing as this is the first time he’s actually had to confront the reality that there are indeed mice. I on the other hand, with much more time to adjust, am judiciously planning out a comprehensive warfare strategy which will hopefully conclude with at least one dead mouse.

In the ‘Hood

We found out last night that our friends (the ones that brought us a Mexican Feast when we moved in) bought the house right behind ours. They’ll be gutting it and remodeling the entire thing so we’re looking at next summer before they move in. We’re both mutually excited not only for the company, but also because we’ll both have built-in pet sitters.

And… after perusing the website of the Harrison West Society I got confirmation to some of the rumors that have been floating around the neighborhood. This is a bit confusing, but here is a map of all the BRAND NEW development that is going on just south of us. (On this map, west is on top, north to the right, etc. The street that you see on the far right of the drawing and can barely read is West Second Avenue. Ours is the next street to the right of that.) This whole area used to have factories on it, only in the last year or so have they cleared it out and started building. And building they are- the houses start at $300k for a duplex which means one thing to us- equity. We may live in a derelict house but at least it’s going to gain in value!

So all in all this development is a big part of the reason why we bought when we did, after watching the real estate market we could tell we were on the verge of getting priced out. Which I think at this point has officially happened- there isn’t a single stand alone house in Harrison West proper under $250k now. So even though we’re stretching ourselves a bit thin with it all, we consider ourselves insanely blessed that we were able to get something within walking distance of all of the places we frequent- including work.

In the midst of all this, after we moved in we found out around election time that Harrison West was trying to get what’s called a TIF passed. I’m not sure I fully understand it but it goes something like this… all the tax money that Harrison West generates from its 777 properties goes back to the neighborhood once the school tax money is taken out. We were hoping this meant some sort of cool neighborhood development but didn’t really understand what it would go towards. So back to the sketch of the development, notice the part along the top titled “Parkland dedication” and “Greenspace.” According to the notes of the Harrison West Park Committee, there will be a park with a playground for children, an apple orchard and a community center that overlooks the river which will have a café with outdoor seating, a terrace fireplace, and…access to the POOL! There are a number of reason I’m excited about this, but perhaps the biggest reason is for when we have kids. Part of what you give up by living in a dense urban area is the neighborhood feel. It feels less safe, more disconnected, and certainly less child-friendly than suburbs. And typically there are few surprises. Given that these neighborhoods are generally over 150 years old there usually isn’t a lot of room for development. But know that we know we’re going to have a park about a block away from us makes it feel like we’re not giving up nearly as much as we might have initially thought we were when we decided to settle in the city. Having people we know just a stones throw away, and having a safe place for our kids to ride their bikes, play on the swings and learn to swim(!) just makes it feel like we made the perfect choice. And surprisingly all this makes me worry less that our house isn’t perfect. Somehow finding out all of these unexpected changes are coming to the neighborhood gives me the feeling that there are so many other wonderful surprises in our lives that we just have no idea are coming.