A window into application season
I warned you all I was incabable of being pithy. :) I have tomorrow off so this is twice as long to give you two days of reading.
It’s application time for me again, and over the past week I’ve been fervently trying to prepare to submit an application for acceptance into the PhD program in the Social & Cultural Foundations of Education (the same area one I’m in now). I’m doing all this even though I continue to struggle with whether or not I actually want to do it. But applications are only accepted once per year, and the program begins the following fall meaning if I don’t apply now I wouldn’t start until September 2008- almost two years away. To top it all off, my GRE scores (the equivalent of the SAT or ACT for graduate school) are only good for five years, and they expire in 2008. So in essence it’s now or never.
There are a number of reasons why I don’t want to continue on- including wanting to have more time to myself, to work on the house, to eventually start a family, and to all around retain some of my sanity. Although I like being busy, working a forty hour work week, taking three classes, working a second job, and continuously stripping trim on top of it all sometimes gets to be a bit ridiculous. There are also a number of reasons why I do. I happen to be one of those rare breeds that actually likes school (most of the time). I love learning and I am forced to read things I want to but otherwise lack the intrinsic motivation for. I’m not sure what I would do with myself otherwise, especially as Clint tends to be equally busy, and to top it all off… it’s free. I’m looking at possibly three more years of course work, plus the additional one or two for a dissertation. While this looks like eternity to me at this juncture- I realize that I am in my third year of my master’s program, and it has flown by. But none of this is really the point since I’m applying and will take it quarter by quarter if I get in. If I want to drop out, take a leave, or go extremely slow, I can. As long as I’m in.
The dilemma comes in if I want to apply to another school. All along the plan has been to apply here, and then a long shot or two like Harvard and Columbia. Of course this plan came before we had a house, and before I was tired of school, but part of the motivation was to see if I could get in. I’ve been knee deep in the application process for Ohio State and just realized that if I ever want to try it just for fun, this is my chance. The application process is surprisingly time consuming. I have to write a statement of intent, which is in essence two pages summarizing my whole history and background, what I want to do for the rest of my life, exactly what research I want to do for my dissertation, and specifically who on the faculty I would like to work with. This is especially challenging for someone who struggles with brevity. I need to get an official copy of my transcripts from each university I attended and an official copy of my GRE scores (this, as you could imagine, all costs money). But by far the worst part- I have to find three people willing to write a letter of recommendation for me. Now I don’t mind the other parts so much, but going to professors who have more than enough on their plate, and asking them to write good things about me out of the kindness of their heart isn’t the most fun. To top it all off, I realized the upcoming deadline a bit late and can only give people three weeks to get this done instead of the suggested six. This might not be so bad if I only had to do it once or twice like most people, but due to transferring out of counseling this is the third time I’ve had to go through this painstaking process. So that is one consideration in applying somewhere else. Also the money. As I mentioned there are associated fees, and I have to pay $75 just for someone to review my application. Then finally there is the why question. Why would I put myself through all this? Initially there was the chance we could go- but now we have a house. We’re pretty well rooted and I’m pretty happy with those roots.
There is the element of curiosity though, and even of knowing if I could get in. Would Harvard even accept me? As you might imagine it is insanely competitive. I believe approximately 5 people are accepted each year. But there is the time factor. If I ever wanted to know, now is really the only time. I’m already asking for letters, what’s another copy. Also, not to brag but my GRE scores were in the ninetieth percentile, well above the average at Harvard, and I’ve had straight As since 1996. With those GRE scores expiring(and I’m not being self-deprecating but rather realistic) -there is no way I could get those scores again even if i wanted to (which i really really don't). Turns out having mono right before the test is a good thing because it gives you plenty of time to study.
So I’m torn. Do I apply just so I could always know that I could have gotten in, or is this just needless torture. As much as I (we) don’t want to move, and there are so many other things I want right now besides being in a graduate program full time on student loans and uprooting my husband, but there is something appealing about knowing I could have a doctorate from Harvard. Would it become a source of pride and accomplishment just to know I could have gone there or would it be frustrating? I’ve been accepted to every graduate program I’ve ever applied to, part of me is just curious to see where my limits are. Interestingly enough I don’t think I’d be bothered in the least by a ‘no.’
Ultimately the idea of continuing where I am now is infinitely more appealing, perhaps I’m just adjusting to the idea of being settled down and rooted somewhere. The whole time I’ve lived in Columbus I’ve always assumed I was leaving to get the PhD somewhere else. Came pretty close to going a couple of times too (some guy stopped me one of those times- talked me into marrying him). It’s odd too to realize that somewhere along the way I began thinking about domestic life more than academic. Funny thing is- I can't imagine it any other way.
It’s application time for me again, and over the past week I’ve been fervently trying to prepare to submit an application for acceptance into the PhD program in the Social & Cultural Foundations of Education (the same area one I’m in now). I’m doing all this even though I continue to struggle with whether or not I actually want to do it. But applications are only accepted once per year, and the program begins the following fall meaning if I don’t apply now I wouldn’t start until September 2008- almost two years away. To top it all off, my GRE scores (the equivalent of the SAT or ACT for graduate school) are only good for five years, and they expire in 2008. So in essence it’s now or never.
There are a number of reasons why I don’t want to continue on- including wanting to have more time to myself, to work on the house, to eventually start a family, and to all around retain some of my sanity. Although I like being busy, working a forty hour work week, taking three classes, working a second job, and continuously stripping trim on top of it all sometimes gets to be a bit ridiculous. There are also a number of reasons why I do. I happen to be one of those rare breeds that actually likes school (most of the time). I love learning and I am forced to read things I want to but otherwise lack the intrinsic motivation for. I’m not sure what I would do with myself otherwise, especially as Clint tends to be equally busy, and to top it all off… it’s free. I’m looking at possibly three more years of course work, plus the additional one or two for a dissertation. While this looks like eternity to me at this juncture- I realize that I am in my third year of my master’s program, and it has flown by. But none of this is really the point since I’m applying and will take it quarter by quarter if I get in. If I want to drop out, take a leave, or go extremely slow, I can. As long as I’m in.
The dilemma comes in if I want to apply to another school. All along the plan has been to apply here, and then a long shot or two like Harvard and Columbia. Of course this plan came before we had a house, and before I was tired of school, but part of the motivation was to see if I could get in. I’ve been knee deep in the application process for Ohio State and just realized that if I ever want to try it just for fun, this is my chance. The application process is surprisingly time consuming. I have to write a statement of intent, which is in essence two pages summarizing my whole history and background, what I want to do for the rest of my life, exactly what research I want to do for my dissertation, and specifically who on the faculty I would like to work with. This is especially challenging for someone who struggles with brevity. I need to get an official copy of my transcripts from each university I attended and an official copy of my GRE scores (this, as you could imagine, all costs money). But by far the worst part- I have to find three people willing to write a letter of recommendation for me. Now I don’t mind the other parts so much, but going to professors who have more than enough on their plate, and asking them to write good things about me out of the kindness of their heart isn’t the most fun. To top it all off, I realized the upcoming deadline a bit late and can only give people three weeks to get this done instead of the suggested six. This might not be so bad if I only had to do it once or twice like most people, but due to transferring out of counseling this is the third time I’ve had to go through this painstaking process. So that is one consideration in applying somewhere else. Also the money. As I mentioned there are associated fees, and I have to pay $75 just for someone to review my application. Then finally there is the why question. Why would I put myself through all this? Initially there was the chance we could go- but now we have a house. We’re pretty well rooted and I’m pretty happy with those roots.
There is the element of curiosity though, and even of knowing if I could get in. Would Harvard even accept me? As you might imagine it is insanely competitive. I believe approximately 5 people are accepted each year. But there is the time factor. If I ever wanted to know, now is really the only time. I’m already asking for letters, what’s another copy. Also, not to brag but my GRE scores were in the ninetieth percentile, well above the average at Harvard, and I’ve had straight As since 1996. With those GRE scores expiring(and I’m not being self-deprecating but rather realistic) -there is no way I could get those scores again even if i wanted to (which i really really don't). Turns out having mono right before the test is a good thing because it gives you plenty of time to study.
So I’m torn. Do I apply just so I could always know that I could have gotten in, or is this just needless torture. As much as I (we) don’t want to move, and there are so many other things I want right now besides being in a graduate program full time on student loans and uprooting my husband, but there is something appealing about knowing I could have a doctorate from Harvard. Would it become a source of pride and accomplishment just to know I could have gone there or would it be frustrating? I’ve been accepted to every graduate program I’ve ever applied to, part of me is just curious to see where my limits are. Interestingly enough I don’t think I’d be bothered in the least by a ‘no.’
Ultimately the idea of continuing where I am now is infinitely more appealing, perhaps I’m just adjusting to the idea of being settled down and rooted somewhere. The whole time I’ve lived in Columbus I’ve always assumed I was leaving to get the PhD somewhere else. Came pretty close to going a couple of times too (some guy stopped me one of those times- talked me into marrying him). It’s odd too to realize that somewhere along the way I began thinking about domestic life more than academic. Funny thing is- I can't imagine it any other way.
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