Patience
It’s amazing with this process not what I’ve learned about home improvements or homeownership, but I’m constantly surprised by how much we’re learning about ourselves and each other. The first major realization was that we might not actually like things to come easy to us. When I realized how much we had taken on, then I realized how much we’re always taking on, I noticed a pattern. We were talking about it as we were packing up the old apartment only hours before we were to catch a flight (a pattern that has repeated itself before every vacation (every deadline for that matter)). It used to surprise me- how close we would push everything to the edge of getting done but then Clint made a dangerous observation- we continue to do it because we continue to get away with it. Even though it puts an undue amount of stress on us, and even though we say we hate doing things that way and want to be ‘grown ups,’ we still make our flights, Clint still gets projects done and I get all my papers and projects handed in and get As. It could be laziness or procrastination, but I like to believe it has something more to do with how much sweeter it is to have that release after having such intense stress beforehand.
My more recent observation is really just an agreement with all the critics who say our generation is spoiled in its accustomization to immediacy. Clint and I continue to go back and forth struggling with living with something that is not how we want it, and not having the financial means to make it so. I’ve realized in this how little I’ve had to wait indefinitely for something I’ve wanted. Now this is not to say that for either one of us it was ever handed to us or always came easy, we were just creative in figuring out a way to get whatever it is we wanted- even if it meant working several jobs, finding it used, building it, etc. or at least we’ve always had an end point in what we were waiting for or working towards.
As we face all of the aspects of the house that need to be addressed, and realize that currently those renovations are completely financially out of reach for us, we struggle with the greater overarching theme of ‘pleasure delayed’. I think we’d even be fine if there was an end date, say even a year or two or five down the road- but with the price tag that comes with most of it, and the time and knowledge required of us to do any of it, it often feels insurmountable. Days like these we focus on the investment part of it all, and think about dates where if we still hate it, we’ll sell. Sunday was such a day for me, and yesterday was for Clint. Then, as I was riding my bike along the bike path on this particularly chilly morning, I was reminded of the homeless person I had seen there the day before, enclosed completely under a blanket to try to keep warm in the damp, cold morning, and I was reminded of how lucky we truly are. Our house may be in utter disrepair and there lies a lot of work in front of us, but we have a roof over our heads and each other at the end of each day. I try to remember that, and how privileged we actually are to even have a house, much less in the neighborhood we are in, and suddenly it all seems ok.
My more recent observation is really just an agreement with all the critics who say our generation is spoiled in its accustomization to immediacy. Clint and I continue to go back and forth struggling with living with something that is not how we want it, and not having the financial means to make it so. I’ve realized in this how little I’ve had to wait indefinitely for something I’ve wanted. Now this is not to say that for either one of us it was ever handed to us or always came easy, we were just creative in figuring out a way to get whatever it is we wanted- even if it meant working several jobs, finding it used, building it, etc. or at least we’ve always had an end point in what we were waiting for or working towards.
As we face all of the aspects of the house that need to be addressed, and realize that currently those renovations are completely financially out of reach for us, we struggle with the greater overarching theme of ‘pleasure delayed’. I think we’d even be fine if there was an end date, say even a year or two or five down the road- but with the price tag that comes with most of it, and the time and knowledge required of us to do any of it, it often feels insurmountable. Days like these we focus on the investment part of it all, and think about dates where if we still hate it, we’ll sell. Sunday was such a day for me, and yesterday was for Clint. Then, as I was riding my bike along the bike path on this particularly chilly morning, I was reminded of the homeless person I had seen there the day before, enclosed completely under a blanket to try to keep warm in the damp, cold morning, and I was reminded of how lucky we truly are. Our house may be in utter disrepair and there lies a lot of work in front of us, but we have a roof over our heads and each other at the end of each day. I try to remember that, and how privileged we actually are to even have a house, much less in the neighborhood we are in, and suddenly it all seems ok.
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