Shoddy Workmanship

After being in the house a few days, we’re starting to learn some of the intricacies of the place you can only get while trying to function on a daily basis. And if there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s how much things have changed since the construction on the house, particularly the addition (kitchen, bathroom, laundry room). For example, we definitely do not give building permits to monkeys or small children, which from our experiences we can only assume they did. We should have been wise to it going in though- it’s not like there weren’t clues. The first thing that comes to mind is the fact that they WALLED IN THE HOT WATER HEATER. It’s not as though they were completely irrational, they did leave a small section of the drywall in the laundry room cut out in case the pilot light ever goes out. Of course you have to move and disconnect the dryer to get to it, but there I go again trying to apply logic to construction. There are other smaller clues about the child/animal labor, like the fact that not much sits flush with the wall- (light switches, outlets, cable lines, vents) and clearly a teenage girl had a hand in it because there are at least two phone jacks in every room. Clint has made it his personal mission to remove all of those although we were advised not to, for future buyers, but at this rate by the time we sell the place phones will be obsolete because we’ll just beam our mental rays to people to talk to them.

We are largely moved in though, at least as moved in as we’re going to be for now. It helps having the garage because we don’t have to try to find a place for everything immediately. And as a bonus we’re probably providing a comfortable home in our belongings for all the crickets and slugs that live out there (I’ll just make Clint go through those boxes when they’re ready to come in). We saw two more slugs on the back deck last night- I’ve learned to look for the slime trail and to look away as soon as I see a dark shape. That will be an ugly ugly day when I accidentally step on one of those. Likely similar to my reaction when I see centipedes, which involves screaming, jumping on the nearest elevated object, and yelling at Clint for not killing it fast enough.

It’s starting to feel more like home, although I’m still not 100% comfortable walking around the house barefoot because of the sheer number of staples we’ve pulled out from every floor in the house. There are still least a hundred more in the stairs, but not in places we step so those can get pulled later. I realized I have a problem this morning though while waiting for the bus and looking at a telephone pole where people frequently hang flyers. I caught myself looking at all the remaining staples and judging which ones would be easy to get out with needle nose pliers, and which ones would require a flathead screwdriver. This vacation is coming at a perfect time.